Join me for a chatty, unscripted convo about interests colliding, getting the ick, making changes, manifesting shoes, and having audacity to ask for a different hotel room after getting upgraded.

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Listen to Episode 228 of Celebrate Cultivate

Hello, you are listening to Celebrate Cultivate. I am your host, intuition coach and voice in your earbuds, Kaileen Elise Sues. I am so excited to be joining you today because I am recording from a very familiar location. I'm sitting on the floor in my closet. I just reorganized it. I haven't quite figured out where I'm going to put all of my crystals and I have two very empty vision boards, bulletin boards to the left of me.

But my clothes are all sorted and organized for spring, summer. I have. Open spaces in my shoe storage area because I'm getting ready to go shopping with my stylist, Natalie, for some new shoes. And today we're gonna talk about manifesting. So one of the things about manifesting is. Making room for what you are ready to call in.

And I don't ever, or I don't always do this perfectly, of course, but I did feel the inspiration to carve out some spaces so that when I find shoes that I really love that fit my feet, that are the right size and the right color, that are the right vibe and. Fill the holes that I have when it comes to stylist shoes, I can just put them right in my closet in the spots that I have available.

So there will be no reorganization needed. Fingers crossed. It'll just be like clicking it right into place. And that's always such a nice feeling, you know? And, and what will happen if I don't find shoes when I go shopping? Well then I'll just have to fill in these spots. Spots reorganize or go shopping online, you can obviously do that too.

So yeah, when I was thinking about this conversation, what I wanted to bring to today, I, I was planning on actually speaking specifically about manifesting because originally. I was going to be launching hosting, selling my course that I do every single May. It's called Magnetize. Originally in years past, we've had Magical May, and then it grew into Magnetize, and this is something that's been happening I think since 2020.

I don't know if I have skipped a May before or not, but I'm really not sure if I want to host Magnetize in May, but I. Do know that I'm just not in the mood to, to sell program right now, and it pains me to say that I'm having, I'm having lots of feelings. I am in, I'm in my feelings right now. I was at Target earlier today shopping.

And I don't often shop at Target. I often do like order pickups and you know, that sort of thing. But I was like walking the aisles of Target and filling in my cart for my daughter's birthday, which is coming up Mother's Day weekend. Also shopped for Mother's Day cards, which is always an a little bit of an emotional thing for me because I don't have a relationship with my mother.

She is alive, but we are not. On speaking terms, and we haven't been for like 15 years now more, I don't know. I haven't done the math in a long time, but yeah, about that long and. There's a lot of really important women and mothers in my life, so trying to find a card to send to her, finding cards for, for the other very amazing women in my life and, and just like those make me feel things.

And then was while I'm there, while I'm in the mood, while don't, I shop for my son's birthday and he's turning 10 this summer. And then I was also. Like, I don't know. It was just like stocking up on protein drinks because the push for protein has made it to my household. I feel like there was so much propaganda and like everything on the internet was telling me.

More protein. More protein, more protein for so long. And it was really annoying me. And now I'm at a point where my actual doctor and nutritionist are like, yeah, Keely, you need to eat more protein. And I'm like, is it just a fad or is this like actually what we need to be doing in life? Because I don't want to become this like protein obsessed person, but I also do want to fuel my body.

So I just feel like today's shopping trip to Target was like this microcosm of a lot that's been on my heart and my mind and on my shoulders lately. And I'm sure you're not shocked to hear that. Like I nearly had a panic attack and just left my cart behind because it's just sometimes it can be so much and.

And, and at the same time of feeling all those feelings and like wanting to cry at target, both from like joy and appreciation, but also overwhelm and like, what, what is happening? I also had this like undercurrent of peace, this undercurrent of all is well, this undercurrent of I'm all right and it is okay.

It might actually be really good and amazing and magical and beautiful to have all of these feelings, to be able to witness them, to ride that emotional wave and to finish my objective, which was to. Get all these things to arrive home safely, wi and able to sort out all of the different occasions. And like I, I like to organize, you know, all my things.

So I had like stuff for merit's birthday party, set aside in one place. Stuff for Owen's birthday, set aside in another place. Stuffer. My best friend Christie is coming to visit in two weeks, so I got us some energy drinks. Set that aside. Some, what did I buy for us? I got us nuts and alani, so we're like getting the hotel room stocked out and I have make sure we have waters.

You know, there's like, I just feel like I have like all these different things in my head and I got it all organized and I came to my closet. The main reason why I was going to target in the first place is 'cause I needed a few more hangers and Target has these awesome. Wooden hangers with black, like the wire part is black, but the hanger part is wood, and it just makes your closet look like a boutique.

When you have these, they're very sturdy and they're thick. So my stylist is always trying to convince me to get thinner, low profile hangers, because then you can put more stuff in your closet. But I'm like. So stubborn. I don't want to do that. I like the way these look. I like the heft of them. I've been investing in them and growing my closet for years now, and, and it's just what I want.

So I, I got the hangers and that was like. Point a of the, the agenda for today. And now I'm sitting here and it was definitely not part of my plan today to record in my closet. And like I said, I had a whole episode scheduled and, and planned in my head around promoting magnetize. But in the last few weeks I've just been kind of feeling like, Hmm, that doesn't.

That's not what I wanna do. I'm not exactly sure why. And again, like I'm not, I'm riding these waves of uncertainty and unknown and lack of clarity. I'm, I'm just kind of letting it be while also harnessing the clarity that I. Do have, which, you know, I think sometimes we think in our lives that if we don't know what we want, that means we're lost.

But oftentimes when we don't know what we want, it's because we know what we don't want and what we do want just hasn't come into focus yet. And for the same thing, like with me having this empty area in my closet now for my new shoes that I haven't quite gotten yet, but I know are coming, like, I know I'm gonna get new shoes.

I don't know what they're gonna look like. I have some ideas in mind, but you know, I just, I know I need new shoes, so I'm gonna get them. Right. I know I have some new things on the horizon. And I know they're coming, but I don't exactly know what yet. And so instead of pushing through and forcing myself to sell magnetize, 'cause that's what I had on my schedule, that's what's posted on my calendar.

And you know, that's what's on my website. Instead of doing that, I'm really listening to this like, hmm, that's not exactly what I wanna do right now. And I don't know what's next, but I'm waiting for more information. And I think when it comes to manifesting, that's actually a really important step that's so many of us skip because it is really uncomfortable to not know.

You know, if you just think about like when you're at the coffee shop and you're standing in line and you're thinking about what you want, and you, then you start, as you get closer, you start to feel this like pressure to make the right choice. And there's again, like all of these factors in your head like.

Maybe if you're trying to lose weight, then it's like, I don't wanna have too much sugar. I is dairy good or is dairy bad? I need more protein, but I don't know what about this, what about that? And maybe you hear, like, I, I bumped into somebody recently and she said, well, she's not a coffee drinker, but she's been trying to drink more coffee because she read online that coffee's really good for you.

She's like, I'm a matcha drinker and I started drinking matcha in the first place because it's supposed to be really good for you. And I was like, well, like what do you want to drink? She's like, I wanna drink my matcha. Okay, then just drink your matcha. You know? We don't have to force ourselves to do things that we don't wanna do just because we think they're supposed to be good for us.

And then at the same time, it's okay to try new things. It's okay to not be sure it's okay to like. Test out becoming a coffee drinker and then realizing like, okay, no, I don't wanna be a coffee drinker. I wanna be a matcha drinker. Even if coffee's AKA good for you. Which is just so funny because I think you could also like spend some time online and read that coffee's bad for you.

You know, I fully stand on the support side of coffee. I love coffee so much and it makes me feel really good most of the time. And sometimes I can drink too much, you know. When I was thinking about this episode, one of the things I wanted to talk about is reality TV and Real Housewives and Amanda Francis on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but also the other Amanda and Summer House and Reality TV in general, and just how.

So much of what is being portrayed in these reality TV shows is like just a microcosm of what's happening in real life. Like these are these real people's lives. And if you're not a fan of reality tv, I'm sorry, you can like speed on ahead, but I really, really love reality TV and I have been a fan. Of reality TV for as long as I can remember.

Really. Like I grew up watching Real World with my mom on MTV when they were in San Francisco, which I was a little, a little thing when I was watching that show and I always like wanted to be on reality tv. But that ship has probably sailed. And honestly now I don't think I would wanna be, but I definitely thought like, wow, that would be so cool.

And. There's been so many things that like media and things since then that have made me really question like, do I want to participate in the watching of these things? Especially when stuff goes sideways, like with everything that happened with the Mormon Wives Show and Taylor, Frankie Paul, and then seeing how she, they pulled the Bachelor and like it got to a point where it's like, okay, wait a second.

Like this is. This is real things happening in these people's lives, and I don't think I want to be watching it. Like the only reason why I should be part of this conversation is if I was in that person's family. You know what I mean? And it's getting to be that way with the Sierra, Amanda, and west of it all in the sense of like, of course they're on a reality TV show.

But I'm starting to get concerned about these people's mental health and are they okay? Are they gonna be okay? Like, they're obviously making crazy choices. And then the whole reason why I wanted to talk about this was because of Amanda Francis on Beverly Hills. Now, if you aren't familiar with Amanda Francis, she has been a online coach for women for a quite a while.

My friend. Christie, my best friend Christie, who's coming to town in two weeks, sent me her book Richest Like a long time ago. And you know, I've never really, I think one of the things that's always made me feel slightly strange about being a coach is that there are so many coaches out there who I don't exactly resonate with and align with.

I think that is something that makes me. An asset as a coach, like a benefit to some my, my clients, because maybe they're not like huge stands of these coaches also, but I don't know. It's just, it starts to make me feel really strange. So I was very excited to see Amanda Francis on Beverly Hills because she is in this world that I am in online coaching.

She has tons of courses about manifesting. And I mean, that's kind of like her big platform. And I've been watching Beverly Hills since it aired, so I'm a huge fan of Beverly Hills. I love the show so much it, to see her enter that world. It was like two of my greatest interests colliding the when those things, when that happens, it's like so exciting to me.

Another example is there is a book that came out recently about chess. I know this is, sounds like a non sequitur, but stay with me. So my son Owen is, is plays chess and is very dedicated to it where he's at chess tournaments like every weekend, or not every, not literally every weekend, but often. He was at one last weekend.

He's gonna be at one this weekend. Like chess is a huge part of our lives. I also have a pretty strong interest. In cults, like documentaries about cults, books about cults. I listened to the audio book for Under the Banner of Heaven when I was in, I think high school or college. I've always just been fascinated with cults, which this definitely plays into this because of manifesting and coaching.

Like all of that stuff can like very easily slide into the realm of a cult. So anyways, the chess and cult crossover, there's this book that came out this year. Written by Danny Wrench, who is one of the main guys of chess.com and it's about his life. I can't think of the name of the book right now, but probably nobody listening is actually gonna go read it.

'cause I doubt that your crossover is chess and Colts also. But when I read that book, while I listened to the audio book, I was, it was so fascinating to me because it was like these two areas of my life that I'm really interested in colliding. And the same thing happened and the book is. Really interesting.

By the way, I would not necessarily have my son read it anytime soon because it's pretty raw and there's some really yucky parts to it. I mean, it's his life story and it's incredible, like what he's been through and what he's been able to do with his life. There's also just like a lot of language I wouldn't want my son to hear anytime soon.

He's not yet 10, but I don't know if you're interested in those book. I enjoyed the book anyways. Sa, same thing happened, right? With this Housewives and the Amanda Francis coming together. It was like, okay, these are two things that I really, really like. And what happened was, I, I was just like so bummed out because it didn't, it didn't mesh well, right?

Like if you watch Amanda Francis on the show. For me personally, she becomes less and less likable the more she's in the show. I'm still holding out hope and like I don't know what's gonna happen, but she's not received well by the ladies and it makes me feel certain things because I, while I. Didn't love her book.

And while I've never really like loved the things that she shared on Instagram, like she wasn't exactly my flavor. She's like a lot girlier than I am. Maybe, I don't know. We're just like, I. I, I don't know it like if I saw her in an event and we were like in a peer situation, I would be kind of course respectful.

Of course. Like she's achieved and accomplished so much, but I don't know that we would like hit it off, you know? Super well. She's not somebody who's been on the internet that I've been like, oh my God, I would love to be that person's best friend. And I feel so weird saying that like this is like more honest and raw.

And maybe it's just because I literally almost had a meltdown at Target. Or maybe it's because I've, I have had quite a few of you tell me recently that you've been enjoying the More conversational podcast. You're having fun kind of. Riding the waves with me of, Hey, we don't know everything. And look, I have some, I know some of you listening.

Love Amanda Francis, and I'm, I'm no shade, like, no hate whatsoever. I have like so much respect for what she's been through. And honestly like it is really, really brave to put yourself out there and be on a show like that and open yourself up to all the criticism to even have some girl in Austin, Texas sit in her closet.

Say your name so many times it's like I have no business talking about her either. But when it comes to topics like manifesting, it just makes me feel a certain way and I can't quite. Put my finger on it, but the word that's coming to me is shame. Like I feel ashamed for teaching, manifesting and teaching some of these things because they are controversial.

They're questionable. They're very difficult to prove. They're not studied. And when I teach at a place like Syracuse University, for example, and I'm with all those college students in a room, we talk a lot about visualization. 'cause that is something that's been studied, you know, and we, we talk about.

Goal setting and visioning, because those are things that are internal and maybe you don't necessarily need to prove them, right? We talk about imagination because that's what makes you unique, and so I think there's just a lot of muddied waters when it comes to some of these topics. Even listening to your intuition, you know, there's a very fine line between anxiety.

And inner voice, and sometimes they're one and the same because when you hear what your inner voice has to say, sometimes it can make you anxious. It's not like a thousand percent. Like pure bliss. Every time you get guidance from your inner voice and a lot of this un uncertainty and kind of like where am I?

What am I doing, feelings that I'm currently experiencing comes from the fact that I am in the practice of both listening to my intuition. And I'm in the practice of listening to my mind. Like I really don't believe in putting my mind up on a shelf and not listening to it because I think my mind is valuable.

And I don't think that we're on earth to ignore like a huge piece of us. So many of us live a thousand percent in the mind and do so much of what we think we think we should be doing. And when we think what. That is based often on what other people think we should be doing or what we've been taught we should be doing.

And one of my biggest points when I teach a program like Magnetize, which by the way I keep saying it, but this is my four week long course about manifesting in alignment with your intuition. And I as I'm teaching it, like there is this like tightrope I walk because I don't want to give you my formula for manifesting.

I want you to create your own and how do you create your own formula for manifesting you listen to your inner voice. You experiment, you iterate, and everybody's is going to be different. But there are also going to be these kind of similar pathways of energetics, of visualization, of like having this open space right in front of me for my, my shoes, and trusting and knowing that I will fill it, right, that the shoes will come to me.

Now granted, I'm not saying I'm manifesting free shoes, like I'm going on a shopping trip. And I'm gonna buy myself shoes. But what I really want is shoes that fit, that feel good, that look good, that elevate my outfits, that work seamlessly with what I have. And that's like a pretty specific, but also open-ended manifestation.

When I watch Amanda Francis on Real Housewives, it just makes me wonder. Like, is that what I'm doing too? And I think that's a really healthy skepticism. You know, like it's okay for us to see what we do and see somebody else do it and wonder, am I not doing it right? Am I doing it wrong? Ooh. I don't know if I feel an agreement with that.

And so much of this happens in motherhood, right? Like we are all, anybody who has children is, is parenting mothering. Then we see other people, parent and mother, and we sometimes pick up interesting ideas to explore and try on our own lives and our own families. And then sometimes we see things and we're like, oh my gosh, that would never work, or I could never do that.

And I, so I think that. It's, it's very healthy and safe and okay to have questions to wonder if what you're doing is okay. But then I also think that listening to your inner voice and trusting your gut and leaving room to figure things out on your own has a ton of value also. So one of the things that I.

Read, I read this book recently. It's really good. It's called Everyone Is Lying To You by Joe Piazza, and it is a novel, it's a murder mystery in the book. Maybe you've heard of it or maybe you've read it, but in the book, the the main character is influencer. She's like a trad wife, and there's so much about it that's like, oh my gosh.

Everything you're seeing online and on TV is so not real. Right? Like, and we aspire to this and, and Joe Piazza, I don't know if you've listened to her podcast, but Under the Influence is like such a good podcast and it talks about the influencing industry and, and mothers and women in influencing and I think.

I don't know if she talks about manifesting, but I know she talks about MLMs and she might talk about cults. I can't remember, but MLMs and cults have a lot of crossover too. But you know, I do think that there's like, there's just so many people out there that are trying. So hard to have a better life and then to also make that better life look good.

And this circles back to like how I've been feeling lately because I just, I don't wanna just do things just to do them anymore. I've kind of hit this road. Oh, I didn't even tell you guys about my birthday. Ooh. Okay. Hold on a second. Let me get my thoughts together. This is literally just like a voice memo from me to you.

But that's okay. That's okay. I'm, I'm in it now. We're going for it. We've got a few more minutes and then I'm gonna wrap this up. But to, to circle back to manifesting, let's, let's finish that point. If manifesting gives you the ick or if you've seen people like Amanda Francis talk about manifesting or if you've heard about to be mag magnetic or you've tried to be magnetic and it gave you the ick if you've dipped your toe in the world of Abraham Hicks and it gave you the ick, like there's so many different ways to deliver this information.

At the core of it, manifesting is wanting something. No, having the feeling of wanting something, feeling as if it's coming to your life and then allowing it to come to you. And there are a thousand different ways to do it, and there are just as many, if not more teachers teaching out there how to do it.

And ultimately you can take, pick and choose from those different teachers what you like and what you don't like. Love Abraham Hicks. There's so much about what Abraham teaches that really is cool and inspiring and puts me in a high vibration. But I also have, I've been to two live Abraham Hicks shows workshops.

One was incredible and one was mediocre. You know, I, one was like, oh, I'm, I'm glad I went to a different one. I'm glad I've had other experiences. And that has to do with where I am in my life or what season of life I'm in. That has to do with like the people in the room. So, so many different things, right?

And if you just take one taste of something and you decide like, Ooh, that's not for me. Well, by all means. Listen to yourself and trust your gut, but also like maybe, maybe there's just a different flavor out there. Maybe there's something else that can teach you a different way, or maybe you can carve your own path.

Because all of these people who are teaching these things, they learned from somebody else. They put their own little spin on it and they made it basically out of nothing. Which is essentially actually what manifesting is. So that kind of gets pretty met up pretty quickly, but I just want you to know it's okay and good to learn from others, but it's also good and okay to follow your own guidance.

And one of the people who took magnetize last year, she was kind of like, not. That excited about the concept of manifesting, but she loves working with me and she really wanted to like take this class. She wanted to focus on what do I want, what are my desires? And honestly, maybe I should take the class by myself and because that's like my big open question mark right now is like, what do I want?

Right? So I do have like some pretty clear visions right now. I have a woman I follow on Instagram and her. Parents, she's like, she's 40. She has kids that are a little bit older than me and her parents just took her four. There's four kids in her family, so her, she and her three siblings, plus all of the grandkids, the parents, so the grandparents just took all of them to Hawaii on a big trip for a week.

And like they're, the grandparents are taking all of them. And I was like, okay, that's the kind of grandparent I would like to be and to have that vision to be like, okay, I'm gonna take, Adam and I are gonna take Merit, and Owen and Neil and their partners and their children, we're gonna take that whole group from Austin and we're gonna take everybody to Hawaii for a week.

That seems like a cool vision to hold and like something that we gotta work towards, right? Like you, that just doesn't happen. And it's so far out that I can like have that vision and trust that like we could get there. But that doesn't put a lot of burden on like my actions today. I think where I'm getting tripped up right now is the, I got a action on stuff right now and so much of what I'm doing right now is like for very, very short term things that I need a little bit of vision for the two year, the three year, the five year vision, and so that's what I'm working on.

But to finish this up, let's wrap up. Let's wrap up. I wanna tell you about my birthday a little bit. I went to the proper hotel here in Austin and stayed one night. By myself. And then the next night my husband stayed with me. It was like just such a nice little staycation getaway. That's my favorite place to stay in Austin.

And on that first day when I checked in, they were very kind at the front desk. They asked me, oh, we would like to give you an A welcome amenity. Is there a kind of wine that you like? And earlier that day, I had just decided like I really wanted some rose. And I didn't have, I have so much wine in my house.

That is a story for another day, but we have lots and lots and lots of wine. I don't have any rose in the house. I had an order from Dakota Chi, which is one of my favorite wineries in Napa that was on its way, but I didn't have any rose in hand. So at the front desk I said, well, I don't know if you have any, but I would love a bottle of Rose.

She like called down and she was like, okay, yes, we do have some rose we can give you. So I was like, yes, manifestation. Birthday manifestation completes like so excited. And then they were like, Ooh, good news, we are gonna upgrade your room. And I was like, great. Cool. And they said, the only thing is it's an accessibility suite.

And I was like, okay, that, that's fine. But then when I got to the room, it was on the seventh floor, which the pool at the proper is on the fifth floor, so it was right kind of above the pool. And it was very, very loud. The room smelled so much like bleach. Either it had just been cleaned or I have no idea if that's possible, that like the pool smell would be lofting all the way up to the seventh floor.

But either way, like I walked into the room and I was just like. So excited about my upcoming Rose and the upgrade, and then I stepped into the room and I was like, Ugh, this isn't, this isn't what I wanted. This is not the vibe. Like it just didn't, it didn't feel right. It didn't smell right, and it didn't sound right.

It was too loud from the pool. And I was specifically looking forward to having a quiet night alone at the hotel. So. I, I pondered, I almost panicked. Then I was like, okay, I'm gonna call down to the front desk and just tell them like, can I have my regular room that I paid for and booked? Like, I don't want the upgrade.

And so I called down there and the first time I call, the call doesn't go through. And then the second time I call, the call doesn't go through. So then I try it one more time, the call goes through and I was super nervous and it's, it's just so crazy because obviously. As a grown adult woman paying a lot of money for a hotel stay, that's pretty unnecessary given that I live here, that like I could go back home and sleep in my bed, like I just, I don't know why it feels so hard to ask for what we want sometimes, but it does.

But in this. In this moment, I kind of figured out like, oh, okay. One of the things I know I wanna do this year of being 41 is communicate what I want. When I know what I want, you know, it's okay to not know, but when I know what I want, I really wanna be able to ask for it. So. I told them, I just explained to them what I just told you, and they're like, okay, no problem.

Like we will move you to this room on the the ninth floor. You're gonna really like it. We'll send somebody up right now with a new room key. No problem. And sure enough, like the room on the ninth floor was on the quiet side of the building. It was tucked in the back and it was nice little sweet area like, and you walked in and there's like a little couch and then the bed was on the other side of the wall and it was just like so much cozier and quieter and smelled lovely.

So that was one of my biggest takeaways from that. Trip that time by myself, which is like, okay, this year I am gonna say what I want, when I know what I want. And that is part of manifesting, you know, that is definitely part of it. It isn't the whole picture, but it's a piece of the puzzle. So we'll wrap up there.

Thank you so much as always for listening. Next week, it is my sixth year of having the Celebrate Cultivate podcast. This show started during the pandemic in April when things were really kind of scary. We didn't really know what was gonna happen, and now of course, things are also still. Kind of scary and a lot has happened in the last six years, so I'm not exactly sure where we're gonna take that episode, what we're gonna get into, but I wanna celebrate the last six years.

I wanna celebrate this time that we've been spending together with me talking into your. AirPods or earbuds or on your car speaker. So I will talk to you then if you want to connect with me on Instagram, I'm @kaileenelise, I don't know if there's any links from today's episode for me to include in the show notes, but if there is, I will try to link.

Them. I do really love hearing from you and hearing what resonates and how you are enjoying the show. Thank you so much for listening, and I will talk to you next week.