Into the Deep End

Into the Deep End | kaileenelise.com - image via Unsplash

The important thing is this:
To be ready at any moment to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.
(Charles Dubois)

There are thoughts circling around in my mind, like little wisps of wind that could turn into raging twisters at any moment. Maybe it was too much to plan a wedding and start a new business in the same year. Maybe I should be more social, because I can count the friends I have in Austin on one hand. Maybe I should sit down and write a blog post because these things don’t write themselves.

I had a lot of thoughts and plans going into our vacation. I imagined it would be the perfect mix of work and play, productivity and relaxation. I was wrong on all accounts. So wrong, I can only laugh at myself. We had a blast, but came home exhausted and with a longer to-do list than when we left. We also managed to break two laptops — a crashed hard drive for him, a cracked screen for me. We filled our visit to the brim, staying at 4 different houses and driving ourselves around in 2 separate rental cars. We ate out a lot, drank too much, played in the lake, danced the night away, and celebrated his 30th with good friends.

We do not know how to do anything half-way. My Mister and I try to do more, see more, play more, and work more than humanly possible. We are living it up, these days. We are running towards our future and soaking up what’s here in the moment. It’s sweaty, messy, feverish fun. And it makes my inner control freak take me by the hand, sit me down, and rattle off our to-do list, item by item, in her most stern voice. I listen, but only for a moment. We live this way because we love it. There’s still time for laying by the pool, reading a good book, or watching The Leftovers on Sunday night.

It sometimes feels like I am close to my max, but I dive into the deep end anyway. I dream of quiet days with blank to-do lists, but I know in my heart that I’m not made for stillness. Life is just ramping up. It will get crazier and more delightful if we are lucky enough to have kids one day. I can’t imagine a more wild, busy, and fun life… but it’s around the corner.

These ramblings are like the thoughts circling around in my mind. Typing them out feels like a deep breath and a full exhale. I share them in hopes that you understand where I am. That you think, “I’ve been there.” That you feel my love and anxiety, joy and fear.

I have never been more confident or more unsure. It feels like going into the deep end… cool and refreshing, exhilarating and a little scary.

Image via Unsplash

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Tiny Risks

Tiny Risks - image via Unsplash | kaileenelise.com

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
(Anaïs Nin)

I have been trying something new lately — taking small, tiny risks. They are so small, I doubt if any one else would even notice or dare to call them risks. It is a fun little practice. Something that nudges me outside my comfort zone. If you are looking for a way to switch things up, I recommend you try it.

This started when I was trying to find a mat towel for hot yoga classes. Lululemon had a grey one that felt like the safe choice, but they also had this white and black striped one with a jungle leaf pattern on it. Sounds a little crazy, right? Well, I usually buy “basics” for my wardrobe and accessories… so buying it felt daring and risky to me.

It is a silly example, but I was waffling back and forth as if it were a big decision. Do you ever agonize over tiny things? I find myself spending time and brain power on small decisions that don’t matter one way or another. Maybe it is a form of procrastination, or a way to distract myself from bigger things.

Either way, I am working to make quick, tiny risks with the small decisions. I bought the crazy jungle, striped yoga mat and moved on with my life.

This strategy works for all sorts of things. If there is a recipe you have been wanting to try, go for it. If there is a workout class that looks intriguing, give it a try. If you find yourself thinking of excuses not to try something, pause, turn around, and take that tiny risk.

Do not let the fear of failure, or the force of routine, stop you from the little joys in life. Tiny risks require a small effort, but they can have a big impact on your happiness.

Image via Unsplash

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Heading Back to North Carolina

We're Heading to North Carolina - image via Death to the Stock Photo | kaileenelise.com

Unless you move, the place where you are is the place where you will always be.
(Ashleigh Brilliant)

Hello, sweet friends! I hope you are having a delightful week.

It feels like my Mister and I just got back from our trip to NYC + Philly, and today we are traveling to North Carolina. We will be in Raleigh for a few days to visit with friends, then we’re heading to Lake Norman for time with family, and then off to Charlotte for my Mister’s 30th birthday weekend!

It will be a full and fun trip, but I have plans for productivity too. Our wedding is inching closer (3 months and 16 days now) and I’ve been working hard to slim down & get stronger for the big day. In hopes to not lose my ground, I am planning to make healthy eating choices while also mindfully indulging in some vacation fun. One of my intentions for August is to exercise daily (even if just for a short while), so I packed my running shoes, heart rate monitor, and GPS watch. Of course, I’ll be wearing my Fitbit to encourage extra steps!

In addition to health-related aspirations, I would like to finishing planning my 2014 editorial calendar for this blog and Happy Living. Knowing where the blogs are heading helps me stay focused and enjoy writing more. I downloaded some great resources from CoSchedule and The B Bar to inspire and guide me on this project. I am also pushing myself to write, write, write, and write some more. The next few months are going to be busy, so I would love to have a few weeks of content drafted and ready to go.

We haven’t been back to Raleigh since last winter, so I am eager to visit a few of our favorite restaurants, and catch up with old friends. I am especially excited to hang out with all three of my younger siblings for a week. It will also be nice to escape from the 100° Texas heat!

Do you have any final summer trips planned? Let me know if you have any tips or tricks to staying productive when you’re not in your normal routine!

Image via Death to the Stock Photo

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