I’m walking you through a quick practice that you can do right now to make this holiday season feel more magical, instead of so stressful you barely survive! We’re making a list, checking it twice, and finding out what happens when you trust your choices.
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Do these five things now so your holiday season has less freak outs and more flow
The holidays are a wild time. They are festive, vibrant, and filled with magic. They’re also stressful, packed, and full of memories / cycles / drama that you don’t necessarily want to repeat.
This episode is a short and sweet masterclass in making this holiday season what you truly want, instead of just surviving, doing what you’ve always done, or copying what’s being served to you by algorithms.
Tune in to have me walk you through this practice while you’re on a neighborhood walk, putting away laundry, or getting through the morning drop off routine. Or grab your journal, settle in, and go through these steps. Your holiday season (and stress levels) will be better for it!
01 / Name Your Stress
In my workshop Goal Setting with Intuition (aka Spring Forward aka maybe another name in the future), we do an exercise on the third day where you actually acknowledge the contrast by listing out all the things that are stressing you out, going wrong, and generally not what you want.
Think of this as your antidote to toxic positivity / spiritual bypassing / fake it till you make it. I promise we won’t linger in this despair long, but it’s important to get real with yourself. Go ahead and be honest. What’s stressing you out about the holiday season?
02/ Set Your Intentions
Now that you’ve named all the things you don’t want, it’s time to say what you really do want this holiday season. This is visioning for the holidays!! You can make a vision board, set intentions, or try my absolute favorite practice for this season: writing a holiday letter to self.
Learn more about writing a holiday letter to yourself with this episode from the archives:
My Favorite Holiday Tradition: Writing a Letter to Your Future Self
‘Tis the season of juggling motherhood, holidays, business, feelings, relationships, and all the things. Today we’re talking about how to flow through the stress of the season and my favorite holiday tradition for cultivating calm.
Episode 90 from December 2, 2021
Listen here / Apple / Spotify
03 / Make A List
Now that you’ve named your stressed and visioned the holiday season you actually desire, it’s time to brain dump everything that’s on your mind. List out all the things you could do, want to do, should do, don’t want to do, etc.
You can can set a timer for 8 minutes and see how much you can get out onto the page. But this is also the kind of thing that’s good to do over a day or two. Go live your life and jot down all the random to-do’s and shoulds that interrupt you when you’re trying to get things done.
04/ Check It Twice
Once you feel good about your list, go back over it. Highlight what’s important, cross of what’s not, consolidate anything that’s redundant or extra work. Compare all of that to what’s on your calendar and what feels realistic.
Then, block off time on your calendar for what matters. Put the rest on the back burner, push it out to February, March, or even next year’s holiday season. Delete what you don’t need. Drop what feels unnecessary. See how it feels to plan with intention.
05 / Trust Your Choices
Write your plans in pencil (metaphorical), but do your absolute best to NOT deviate from the plan!!! This is honestly the hardest part, but the one you’ll be the most proud of.
Romanticize the version of yourself who actually does what she says she’ll do. Show up as her. You miiiiight have to go back to the “check it twice” step and check it thrice knowing that you’re actually going to do what you said.
Be generous and greedy with your time. Yes, you have a million great ideas, especially around the holidays, but this season give yourself permission to make it less ambitious and more spacious. Leave room for magic!
Less pretending to be something you're not. More showing up as your whole self.
A Year of You is a full year of intentional support, private coaching, and kindred community.
Listen to Episode 243 of Celebrate Cultivate
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Kaileen Elise Sues: [00:00:00] Hello. You are listening to Celebrate Cultivate, a podcast about celebrating the good in life and cultivating more of what you want. I am your host, intuition coach, and voice in your earbuds, Kaileen Elise Sues. Today, I am sharing five things you can do right now to make this holiday season feel spacious and magical instead of one that is so stressful you barely survive it.
I was having a conversation with my dad recently about this little theory I have. You've heard probably about, like, the happiness set limit. They've done studies now that show, generally speaking, we have, like, a, a max capacity for happiness that we kind of settle into. [00:01:00] And I was telling my dad that I think we also have, like, a stress set limit that is kind of what we generally expect from our lives.
So if we're not getting stress from one area of our life, we will almost find ways, I wanted to say manufacture, but that feels such a negative way of putting it, but we'll almost like mentally find ways to have stress. So as an example, if you were raised in a family where the holiday seasons were really, really stressful, maybe it's the kind of thing that you don't realize, but you might be expecting that same level of stress in your adult life.
And unless you think about it and pause and reflect and hear somebody else, you know, say, "Well, maybe we can do it a different way," you [00:02:00] might not even realize that that's a pattern that you're repeating. I know for me personally, the holidays growing up were always a time where major drama unfolded, big arguments happened, fractures in the family and relationships for as early as I can remember often bubbled up to the surface at the holiday season.
And so a few years ago, I remember feeling so sad and, like, crying in my car for what I thought was no reason. And I started to put the pieces together that in my life, in my family now, there isn't very much drama. There isn't, like, a lot of stuff bubbling up to the surface. But there was this feeling, this expectation, this set level of stress that my body and my mind were accustomed to.
And so I had to really sit with that and sit with myself and look at, [00:03:00] like, what is happening in my life now? What has happened in my life in the past, and where are the differences, and how do I want to influence that difference for myself and for my family moving forward? If you look objectively at these last seven weeks of the year, they are hard because you have end of year goals that you wanna hit at work, you have thoughtful gifts that you want to get, and you have schedules that you need to shift so that you can be at your kid's 1:30 PM assembly.
As I record this, I am literally bumping into that deadline so that I can shut my laptop and head to the school for a 1:30 PM assembly at my child's school. So I am living it with you. Your time feels crunched because in this season you already have a totally full calendar, and then we have to add all of the seasonal [00:04:00] things on top.
So if you look at, like, all of the different pockets or zones or contexts in your life right now, you might feel like at work you're hustling so that you can get everything you have to get done so that you can shut your laptop, like I just said, and enjoy the holiday festivities that naturally occur without having to sneak off and send an email from the kitchen pantry or from the bathroom
You know? Like, if you are constantly kind of just, like, sneaking away to check on things or to move the ball forward, that's stressful. That's hard, and you might feel like you have no other choice, and maybe in this season you don't. But I guarantee you there will be a time, a shift, where that isn't necessarily the case.
So again, it's an opportunity to break out of that set stress level and move into how you want to feel in the season. So if there are, like, a crunchy area of your [00:05:00] life where you don't wanna feel this way ever again, take note of it, right? Like, there's some changes that aren't going to happen instantaneously, but there are things that you can notice, the contrast, notice what you don't like, and help nudge yourself in a direction to where that isn't necessary or that isn't the case in the future.
If you are at home in your life and you're trying to maintain your favorite holiday traditions while also trying to break the cycles that are the hardest for you when you were growing up, the things that, like, almost broke you, you are probably dealing with a lot of stress. Like I said, when I was growing up, the holidays were a really stressful time.
It was also very tricky mentally because I loved the holidays and there were a lot of special moments and a lot of really positive memories, but some of my worst memories are also from the holiday season. So you're holding both, right? Like, if you can [00:06:00] relate to this, you have both that magic in your hands, but then you also have- scary memories maybe that happened in the holiday season.
So it's a lot to juggle with. And after all of this is said and done with the home and the work, there's probably these rare moments of quiet when you're actually alone with your thoughts. Maybe you're in the car or it's late at night, and you just realize how disconnected you've become from yourself and what you actually want.
And I know it feels selfish to think about yourself and your own desires when you already have so much on your plate for so many other people, but if you don't think about it, who's going to? You know? Like, if you don't put yourself on the list, you may be In a situation where no one else will. And even if other people are putting you on the list, there is still something so profoundly important about making sure that you are taking care of you.
So the seasons like this, whether it's the [00:07:00] holidays or something else, like when my house flooded this summer, there is this, like, demand on your time, demand on your patience, demand on your mental bandwidth, and sometimes there's no way around it. Like, you just have to get through it. And I used to think to myself, and I mean, I held this belief for a long time, I just thought, like, if I was better at being calm, these hard seasons, these difficult seasons would be so much better, or they wouldn't even happen, and I really don't believe that anymore.
I've been coaching now for six years. I've facilitated over 300 private sessions. I have supported so many women through so many different seasons and walked myself through really tricky seasons, and it really isn't about just being better at being calm. It's about learning how to trust your intuition [00:08:00] and navigate through the stress that life brings to you with clarity, with presence, and with acceptance of your palms that are sweaty.
You know? Allowing yourself to be a human, be flawed. And when you know how to access your intuition on the daily and you know how to trust the guidance you receive from your inner wisdom, you will be more confident in the unknown. You'll make better decisions about what's next. You'll be okay with not forcing a decision when it's not ready.
You'll hold meetings. You'll host dinners. You'll sneak away for a date with your partner without having to overthink and overcompensate every single move. So in my signature program and community, A Year of You, this is where you will become a pro [00:09:00] at turning the volume down or completely muting the outside noise, slowing down the mental spirals, right?
The, the goal isn't to eliminate all mental spirals. We're not going to get rid of your mind, but you are going to be able to skip the drama of distraction because you're gonna be able to trust yourself on the daily, and that will become your default mode. So if you are listening to this episode when it airs, enrollment is open to A Year of You just with the wait list through November 19th.
The spots are limited, and if this season is anything like the past seasons that we've had, it will sell out. So join the wait- wait list, get that early access, save $600. Okay, now let's get into the practice, the five things you can do right now to make the holiday season spacious and magical instead of one that is [00:10:00] so stressful you barely survive it.
I'm gonna walk you through the practice right now, so you can just listen and let it all kind of wash over you. Take what resonates, leave the rest. Or you can go to the blog post for today's episode, where I have it all outlined, and you can follow it if you prefer to read things after you listen to them.
I know that really helps me sometimes, so just click the link in the show notes to go over there. The first thing you're going to do is name your stress. So in the workshop that I just hosted called Goal Setting with Intuition in the spring, it's called Spring Forward, AKA we might have a new name for it in the future, but it's this workshop that we do over three days to really help you get clear on what matters most and set goals with your intuition.
We just finished that, and so it's fresh on the top of my mind. And we do an exercise on the third day where part of the practice is to acknowledge the contrast. So [00:11:00] this is the antidote to toxic positivity or what some people call spiritual bypassing. And honestly, even it's an antidote to that fake it till you make it or that false sense of gratitude journaling that so many of us feel like we have to force.
You need to get real with yourself, okay? You need to name what is stressing you out. Instead of piling on this, like, extra layer of shoulds of like, "Well, I should be grateful because I'm blessed. I should be grateful because I have so much privilege." Like, yes, you should be grateful 'cause you have privilege and because you're blessed, but you shouldn't negate all of the actual stress and actual negativity and actual challenge of your life.
Doing that, like glossing it over, pretending it's not there, that doesn't help anyone. So I'm not telling you to, like, dwell in your sadness and your stress, but name it. Acknowledge it. Like, really let [00:12:00] yourself be seen and heard by yourself so that as we move forward into the rest of this practice, you feel acknowledged, you feel heard, you feel seen.
Like, yes, arguably you have all the support that you could ever imagine, and yet you have a lot on your plate. It's okay to name that. So number one, name your stress. No excuses, no regrets, just acknowledge it. Number two, set your intentions. So this is where you are going to vision the holiday season that you actually desire.
So you've named your stress, and now you're going to set your intentions. I have a whole practice for this around the holiday season that is very magical and has really supported me over the years. I'm a little nervous because I'm going to share it with you now. I have shared it with you in the past.
It's my annual [00:13:00] holiday letter to self. I have a old podcast episode that I'll link to in the show notes that I talk you through the whole thing. But I'm actually just gonna read you my holiday letter that I wrote to myself in January of this year, so it was on January 24th of '26, to read at the start of the holidays in the fall right now, and I'm gonna just read it for the first time to myself and to you.
"Dear Kaileen, I'm writing this from a cozy, cold Saturday afternoon. A winter storm is coming, and your tree is still up even though most evidence of Christmas is already tucked away. You have a crisp glass of Chardonnay, and the kids are doing iPad. The '25 holiday season was actually quite nice. Now looking back, it's easy to say that it all flowed really smoothly and some sweet memories were made.
Zilker Lights was a success. You watched Home Alone with the kids for the first time and the Ohio classic, A Christmas Story. Dad came to visit, and that went well too. [00:14:00] Gifts were great. You focused it on books, art things, and consumables for family gifts. In 2026, have the kids write letters to Santa. Order your Swarovski ornament, look for a Waterford, add some new ribbons."
These are like ornaments on my to-do list. "Start shopping and planning in October," oh, that's done, missed that deadline, "or November so that you have plenty of space not to feel rushed. Get your tree up after Thanksgiving but soon, like on Saturday, December 5th." It's okay to keep the decor simple, but still give yourself a chance to hang the stockings and maybe shop for a bit more decor.
Buy wrapping paper from Aspen and Arlo was a nice treat. Having pre-cooked lasagna for Christmas was actually amazing instead of chicken parm, which was kind of stressful to cook with everyone around. What if you did a Crock-Pot meatball? Snack board dinner also turned out great, but go to Trader Joe's a little [00:15:00] earlier.
Overall, the theme is just to give yourself more time so you don't feel rushed. It's a busy holiday, but you do it well. Trust that, and keep doing what you can to soak up a very lively, beautiful, amazing family. Love, Kaileen. So you hear it here first along with me. That is how I set my intentions for the holiday season.
I write this little note to myself, and if you are like, "Oh, my gosh, I wanna do that too," you can write one today pretending that you are future self to yourself now, or you can just write it the way that you maybe want to. And then set a calendar reminder, or maybe I'll try to include it in a January episode, like let's write our letters for the following season.
It's really, really helpful. It's a beautiful practice. I've been doing it for years, and I really truly love it. I would hope you do too. Okay, so number three is to make [00:16:00] a list. Brain dump everything that's currently on your mind, the things that you could do, the things you want to do, the things you think you should do, the things you don't wanna do, et cetera, et cetera.
Set a timer for yourself and just, like, let it all out, or this also can be the kind of thing that's good to do over a day or two while you're living your life. Just have a place in your journal or on your phone where it can all land, and then the second a thought comes up, just, like, put it down. And then you have this, like, big list.
Number four is to check it twice, okay? You're gonna check this list twice. You're gonna highlight, cross off, compare it to your calendar, compare it to your reality, compare it to those intentions that you set, and all the stress that you acknowledged, and then you're gonna start to block off time for what you want to do and when you want to do it And you're gonna put some things on the back burner or push it out into March or completely delete it or just create [00:17:00]like a little parking spot for these ideas that you can come back to at another time.
Because honestly, like right now, you're just not gonna get a lot of extra things done because the holidays is already like an extra thing. So anything that can be pushed off just should be at this point. Then number five is to trust your choices. So write this all in pencil. I'm- in like a figurative way.
I'm still gonna write it in pen, but I'm gonna give myself complete permission to cross things off and draw arrows and reorder them. But once you have that plan set, don't deviate from the plan. Honestly, this is the hardest part, but it's the one that most people skip, and it's the one that you will be most proud of sticking with.
So do what you can to romanticize the version of you who actually does the thing, right? Like show up as her. [00:18:00]Imagine yourself being her. She finishes what's on her list. She does the thing, and she does it in a way that feels okay, that feels maybe like a little hurried, but not completely frantic. And you might have to go back to that check it twice step to think about her.
Like the woman that is doing the thing, she is not putting too much on her plate because she is realistic. She is kind to herself. She wants to be able to kick off her shoes and get cozy with a movie and not feel like every single moment is booked and busy. So when you go back through, check it twice, right?
Like, or check it thrice. It's okay to go back through now that you're here at this step and consider that you are actually going to do [00:19:00] everything that you said you're going to do. So don't say that you're gonna do too much, right? Maybe you make it less ambitious and more spacious So this episode, while it ha- it has been pretty rapid-fire, is a literal workshop in creating the kind of holiday season that you actually want.
It's not what you're gonna find on Pinterest. It's not what's gonna be served up to you on Instagram. If you go through these steps, you are going to paint a picture and a plan for yourself that's the holiday season you want, that feels spacious, that feels magical by your own definition. And sure, hiccups are gonna happen.
You know, things are gonna come up, but you're gonna be able to navigate that so much better because you have a plan. So if you are interested in this sort of work on a [00:20:00] more regular basis, if you wanna have me in your corner helping you tune into your inner voice so that you can show up as your whole self in every room and every season, go check out A Year of You.
I would love to welcome you in. If you have questions or curiosities, you're not exactly sure if you would fit in with the group, or if you can't make any of the group calls, but you really wanna work with me and you love catching replays, it could still be the perfect thing for you. We have women in their, in their first seasons.
We have women who have been with me for years and years. We have people who are just discovering what it means to live with their inner voice, and we have people that went through the exact same training as me that I went through in 2020, who are also coaches, but know that they need that kind of space and support for themself, and so they come to me for that.
So it's a wide range, but every single person in [00:21:00] A Year of You and every single person who has ever gone through A Year of You has walked away with a deeper sense of connection to their inner voice in work, in relationships, in home, and ultimately in themselves. And that's what I want for all of you through this holiday season, through the rest of this year, and then into 2027.
That is it for today's episode. I hope you come and connect with me over on Instagram. I'm @kaileenelise. I will be back next week with a fresh interview. Luz Perez-Brown is coming back to the show. I cannot wait for this part two revisiting of the interview conversation we had earlier this summer. You are going to love it.
I will talk to you [00:22:00] then.
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Heeeey! I’m Kaileen Elise Sues.
Your intuition coach and voice of calm with practical insights, useful rituals, and small shifts that make a measurable impact.
My approach isn't about forcing you onto a path. It's about helping you break through emotional blocks and discover your inner wisdom. No rules. No formulas. No tests from the Universe.
By the time we’re done, your inner knowing won’t be a whisper. It’ll be the compass you carry. Get ready for the kind of confidence you thought was just for other people.
