I Might Not Be Cut Out for the Truth

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Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
(Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.)

Two weeks ago, I finished reading Chapter 2 in Martha Beck's The Joy Diet. The mission seemed simple enough—continue to develop a relationship with nothing while incorporating one moment of truth each day.

Beck's words are inspiring and relentlessly truthful. When I completed the chapter, I felt as though I was ready to embrace the truth—ready to uncover secrets and grow from my discoveries.

Shortly after these feelings of I-can-conquer-the-world-ness, reality smacked me in the face in the form of to-do lists, appointments and special projects. Then the excuses came and I let them defeat me.

Maybe the excuses are right, maybe I don't have time for the truth.

I find it a bit depressing and otherwise hilarious that I am struggling so much with this Joy Diet journey. My nothing was far from perfect, I avoided the truth and I have put desire on the back burner. Beck is right when she says that, “living behind a pane of glass, numbing and empty though it is, also feels safe.”

As I think about how I want the rest of this journey to unfold, I am faced with a challenge—do I want to continue hiding behind a pane of glass or do I want to trust there is another step below the one I am standing on?