Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness,
which unites your body to your thoughts.
(Thich Nhat Hanh)

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been practicing yoga for 10 years. I never thought I’d find a connection to anything else besides swimming.

For 12 years, I raced up and down the lanes. Diving into the water at 5:00 am was something I never got used to, but sleeping every night with wet hair was my norm. I spent a long time—the majority of my childhood, high school years and even a splash of college—as a competitive swimmer, focused solely on earning a scholarship (which I did) and maybe qualifying for the Olympics (which I didn’t).

It was through swimming that I came to yoga. At 15, I searched for a way to calm my mind and my nerves. I found a Sunday morning yoga class that I quickly worked into my weekly routine. Yoga’s focus on the breath resonated, working towards my edge intrigued me, and the concept of not being competitive with myself or others was a unique challenge. (Just Googled “yoga is not competitive” and found this swimmer’s perspective as the 4th entry.)

My yoga practice followed me to college and it was there for me when I retired early from collegiate athletics. Throughout senior year, my love for yoga deepened when Donica and I took classes through our university. When I lived by myself in San Francisco for 6 months, I toyed with meditation and tried to get an at-home yoga practice off the ground.

Once I moved to Raleigh, I joined the YMCA and came back to the mat. For awhile there, yoga and I had a good thing going, but I let go of my routine when I started my new job.

The beauty about yoga is that I know it will always be there for me. It’s in the way I stand while waiting to check out at Whole Foods. It’s in the way I sit at my desk. It’s in the breaths I take on my drive home from work, and in the way I open my heart to strangers.

I might have a shaky Half-Moon and a Wobbly Warrior 3, but my belief in yoga is strong and I know my mat will be there for me when I need it.

image credit: moi ~ training camp ‘03

A Promise To Oneself

Promise yourself to be strong,
that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that
there is something within them.

To look at the sunny side of everything,
and to make your own optimism come true.

To think only of the best,
to work only for the best and to expect the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about success of others as you are your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on
to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger,
too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

(Christian D. Larson)

photo credit: evanosherow on Flickr

The supreme accomplishment is to
blur the line between work and play.
(Arnold J. Toynbee)

I can’t confidently say that I mastered the art of play this week. As we have worked through Martha Beck’s The Joy Diet, I have experienced varying levels of comfort with each menu item.

This week I read ahead of the class and was prepared to play with the zeal of a child, but somehow managed to ignore the menu item throughout the week.

In my last post, I revealed my goals for November and mentioned I have struggled to make it to yoga class. Lauren admitted she has been facing the same challenge, even though we both call ourselves yoginis.

The big question that comes to mind is, “why do I avoid the things I know are good for me?” If I am brutally honest with myself…

I prefer the feeling I get from eating a healthy home-cooked meal than I do from driving through McDonald’s.

I have an after-yoga-glow that is exquisite when compared to the way I feel after spending a few sluggish hours on my couch.

I take comfort in solving my internal questions through journal writing rather than ignoring things and complaining to those around me.

So then I wonder, why am I not doing the things that make me feel best?

Maybe there isn’t a good reason, or maybe the reason isn’t the issue at hand. Whatever the cause, if I decide to play the game like Beck describes, I will lean towards living my best life—treating myself to a healthy blend of home-cooked meals, yoga and journaling.

I agree with her that at the end of our lives, or in the face of a tragedy, we are pulled to what is most important to us. We stop avoiding the things that make us whole and get back to the basics. We uncover the dusty novel, the wrinkled yoga mat or the rusty sewing machine. We take comfort in whatever brings us the most joy.

I struggled to define what Beck calls our “real career” because I’m unsure of my answers. I don’t know what legacy I want to leave, and I don’t know what experiences I need to have a completely satisfying life.

Her questions make me feel the same way I imagine it would feel to drive through the neighborhood I lived in until I was 9—comfortable, but disarmed. I don’t exactly know where my house is, but I will know it when I see it.

So for now I am going to continue to drive through the neighborhood, explore my creative side, connect with all you amazing women and stay dedicated to the things that make me happy. I will continue to search for my house—because I am sure that I will know my real career, my true calling, when I see it.

photo credit: me
quote credit: @dailydivadish

Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace within the storm. -Anon

Life is full of twists and turns. You can be cruising along and before you realize it, there is a fork in the road. As a control freak, these surprise curves and bumps along the way can really throw me off course.

I have discovered that when all else fails, there are two easy ways to get me back on track – settling into my routine and remembering to be grateful.

This summer has brought with it so many reasons for gratitude:

• I discovered twitter, my unquenchable thirst for blogs, social media, and all things pretty – hence, the start of this blog
• Yoga found its way back into my life and I covered some ground on my journey to a smaller and more fit Kaileen Elise
• My mister and I took a few wonderful trips including a drive to Charlotte and IKEA, a quick pilgrimage to NYC to celebrate 1 year of love and a trip out west to Vegas/AZ
• We enjoyed a few memorable visits by out of town guests, including college buddies from Ohio and my best friend from Vegas

Life is good. It can be easy to lose sight of this fact, especially when you are plagued with a terrible head cold and your car refuses to start when you’re trying to get home from work.

When I feel like the world is swirling around me, I try to ground myself in routine and gratitude. That being said, I am committing to these small changes in the next week:

• Unpacking from Vegas and doing laundry
• Cleaning the apartment… really cleaning it
• Going to bed before 11:00 pm and waking up at 6:00 am
• Writing in my journal daily, even if it’s only a sentence
• Attending yoga class at least twice

photo credit: faramarz

And the day came when the risk to

remain tight in a bud was more painful

than the risk it took to blossom.

(Anais Nin)

The idea of creating this blog has circled through my mind repeatedly these last few months. After sharing my plan with close friends, my mister and many twitter folk, I am finally here. This is the beginning of my pursuit to make each day a bit more extraordinary than the last. I am looking forward to starting this journey with you.

Consider this a venture through creative forests and inspirational waters. A space for us to share our insights and musings on everything from yogic breath to pink toe nails. I am excited to invite you along for the ride. I promise we will jump in puddles, race too fast, maybe even fall and scrape our knees. I also promise it will be worth it – the messy times always are!

This is an opportunity to spread my limbs, to travel through time, to discover my inner artist, to pursue a more authentic life. I cannot predict what will happen, but I can share with you my resolve to grow as an artist, friend, and woman while we spend our time together.

photo credit: kimrose