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Love Letter

Love Letter |

“We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.”

Years ago when my husband and I first started dating, we liked to watch YouTube videos together. Most of our favorites were funny or inspiring and my husband always found the best ones to share with me.

I will never forget the first time we watched Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot video. We were in his first apartment out of college. A tidy, well-decorated bachelor pad with a cushy tan sofa and glass coffee table. He had a desk in the corner of his bedroom where he played hours of online poker after work.

We sat at the desk with me perched on his lap and listened to Sagan’s perspective-bending words. The world and all its existence feels so very big, but relative to the universe it is all very small. Watching the video together made me realize that we saw the world better looking at it side by side, hand in hand.

The other day I set out to write a love letter to anyone, anything, an idea, a concept, a moment, an item, a noun, a verb, a phrase. There are a million things to love and I’m too tired to pick just one.

I sat on the couch in black leggings and a top knot with my husband snoozing next to me and our baby napping upstairs. Out of the three of us, I am the most sleep deprived. Yet, I found myself awake, watching my two favorites sleep, and thinking about a love letter.

Should I write to coffee? It has always been special to me, but we’ve become even closer since I became a mother. Or should I write to chubby baby thighs? They are squishy and delightful in every way. Should I write a letter to my grandmother? To sunshine? To quiet stillness?

I ought to write a letter to my pillow. Or wine. Or a good book. Or a hot bath with epsom salts and essential oils. Or to the color gray. Or stripes. Or, even better, gray stripes.

Perhaps I should write to those evening dad’s-home-from-work kisses. Or delicious home cooked dinners and Saturday nights in. Or to gratitude, forgiveness, luck, and hard work. Or to being in the right place at the right time.

Or maybe I should write to the terrible things that we survive and learn from… like cancer treatments, surgery, hard decisions, and fateful coincidences.

There are too many things in this life to love and I am too tired to pick just one. Fresh air. Clean water. The Eiffel Tower, Amsterdam canals, or the bustling streets of Hong Kong. Neighborhood restaurants and friendly grocery store cashiers.

I could write a love letter to love letters. Exchanged between two young souls, or an aunt and her niece, or friends who met through their blogs. Or the post-it notes scribbled between a busy husband and wife, always signing off with an ‘xoxo’.

I should write a love letter to the universe, this tiny pale blue dot and everything within it. To having a life that’s full and busy and happy and tiring and to the people that make it all worthwhile.


Wedding Countdown – 5 Months!

Engagements by Taylor Lord|

There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.
(C.S. Lewis)

The wedding countdown is in full force! My Mister and I are getting married in 5 months + 3 days and time is flying by! We got engaged over a year ago, but the word fiancé still feels weird. We’re both ready to drop that title for Mr. & Mrs.

Let’s talk wedding planning…

There are several things I was not expecting, mostly from within my own brain.

I was never the kind of girl who dreamed about her wedding. I never thought about what kind of ring I wanted or who I’d ask to be in my bridal party. Instead, I dreamed about love and marriage and family, but not the ceremony, party or planning leading up to them. Fast forward to today and it’s all I think about!

So, the unexpected thoughts have been plenty. I never knew how much I would care about tiny details or how much consideration I would put into selecting each vendor. I did not expect my Mister to have certain opinions (although I love it when he shares them!) and I was not anticipating some of the preferences I would have myself.

[Tweet “This process has taught me that while anything can feel like a big deal, most things are not.”]

Fortunately, most of the major decisions are behind us. We have amazing, talented wedding planners/designers leading the way. Our venue, officiant, caterer, DJ, photographer, and videographer are booked. My dress is on order, and my hair & makeup are situated. Our bachelorette & bachelor parties are behind us. Our wedding website is live. And our save the dates are on our friends’ and families’ refrigerators across the country!

In the past few months my inner control freak has lost her cool.

There are so many things that she’s worried could go wrong! I’ve had to battle her tirades with logic and love. It helps to remember why we’re planning this party — to celebrate the love and life we are building together.

After 3 moves and 6 years, we’re on our way to becoming husband and wife!

There’s still plenty of planning to do, but we’re getting to all the fun stuff. Design, decor, rentals, and sparkly lights. Songs to select, vows to write. Rings to buy and tuxes to pick out. Favors to decide on and a cake to design. A honeymoon to plan and thank-you cards to buy.

I’m looking forward to our big day when I realize we are actually married

Until then, I will be trying to calm my inner control freak with lots of yoga. Oh, and making up for all those years when I didn’t dream about my wedding by staying busy on Pinterest!

Image via Taylor Lord


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