Comments on: Do You Have a Mindful Mentor?

By: Kathy Korman Frey

Kathy Korman Frey — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 22:49:57 +0000

This is a great and honest post. Where to start is a HUGE issue many women, young and older, face. Mentoring is a component of my Women’s Entrepreneurial Leadership class at the George Washington University School of Business. I match the students up with mentors. After many requests to “privatize” this mentoring approach, I created a virtual mentoring class. It was interesting, because having a class format gave the students an “excuse” to find and interact with a mentor. “I’m doing this for a class,” they would say. This courage in a bottle is transferrable. You could search someone online, contact them, see what conferences they are attending or where they are speaking, have a Google search with their name delivered to your inbox weekly…research and learning is the first step. Then, when you want to approach them, you could say, “Mentoring is on my 2010 must do list. Could I ask you a few questions that you would answer via email, or phone…whatever works? I have been following you for a while and feel a real connection to and identification with your viewpoints.” Of course, don’t say this if it isn’t true. Authenticity is key. There are a few follow up steps and numerous directions this could go. But, starting is the first – and sometimes hardest- step. In speaking at Wake Forest earlier this fall, I realized exactly how hard. You are not alone in your “where to start” question. But, at least you are ASKING the question. Many don’t even know to ask, yet, there is a correlation between mentoring and perception of success/self-efficacy, ESPECIALLY for women. So, in 2010 I would love for mentoring to be a NEED TO HAVE, not just a NICE TO HAVE for women around the world in 2010

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:48:51 +0000

I haven’t had many mentors persay in my life, but there have been a few who have existed in my life through an academic capacity. One in particular, was a professor from my masters degree program, whom I still have contact and write with. My career has been for the most part, academic focused (not just by requiring degrees, but entering the world of academia professionally). For me, finding someone who shares the same dreams and career goals is key. Not only will this mentor help guide you, but you will learn more about the profession and network.

By: Carolyn

Carolyn — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:37:05 +0000

What great questions. Mentors are EXTREMELY important to me in my life, and I have had many in diff. capacities and diff. stages in my life. Professional, personal, creative, etc. I’ve been blessed with a plethora of mentors, and I can honestly say that they have all taught me something along the way, whether or not they continue to be my mentors. I’m going to draft a more detailed email to you directly b/c a lot of it is personal/private, but I want to say that mentors are AMAZING and I think VITAL so get yourself some!!

By: jen_k_

jen_k_ — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:42:01 +0000

About 10 years ago I was in my mid-20s and longing for a mentor in the worst way. I was disappointed in my “search”. I was really grasping and holding out for this mentor I’d imagined in detail in my mind. I didn’t find her. I launched a little rocket of desire
out into the universe and finally just let it go.

About 6 months later she appeared to me teaching a course in grad school I’d been avoiding enrolling in for the entirety of my program. I’d have never recognized her by the tight requirements I composed in my mind. I immediately adored her, but she was nothing like the kind of mentor I thought I needed. Had I met her during my “search” I’d probably have rejected her. Thank goodness she had the wherewithall to recognize in me a young woman who needed her.

Long story short – what began as a fantastic professional mentoring sitution has blossomed very organically into a decade long mentorship/friendship. She and her partner are now family – they are like my son’s grandparents.

Let the oars go and ride with the flow. Listen to your intuition and let it guide you to the people and circumstances that will connect you with your mentor. Accept all invitations to expand your circle. Strike up conversations with people who piqué your curiosity. Turn aquaintences into friends, and then meet *their* friends. You’ll connect.

Namaste.

By: Michele

Michele — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:14:46 +0000

I have two mentors and am also a mentor to a younger designer friend as well. I think it’s important to find someone who is a straight-shooter and can tell it like it is, someone who truly understands how you tick, relates in a similar way, and who knows your emotions well enough to give you the kick in the pants reality-checks you might need without making you cry! : )

As for how to find a mentor, I guess I lucked out on that one, as both of my mentors are people I’ve met and instantly had a connection with so I don’t have any sage advice on that one.

By: kaileenelise

kaileenelise — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:56:17 +0000

Wow! Thanks to each of you for sharing your thoughts on having/being a mentor. I’m encouraged to hear that so many of you have win-win relationships with your mentors.

By: Jess LC

Jess LC — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:54:59 +0000

Yep, I have two mentors. One is my business coach, from SCORE. The other is at UofM who helped me find my passion in college and still keeps in touch. Both are older and not in jewelry but have great life and business experience.

By: Megan

Megan — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:44:03 +0000

Unfortunately I don’t have a mentor either, nor do I have tips on finding one…I just wanted to say “hi!” to a fellow Raleigh gal, I had no idea we were so close.

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:31:57 +0000

I’ve gone my whole professional career without a mentor. I’ve gotten what I consider close a few times, but they never fully developed. I do, however, mentor several people today.

Gwen mentions two things in her reply that resonate; mentor relationships develop naturally and they’re built on trust.

I am not a believer in seeking out a mentor or taking an objective approach, i.e. service, to finding a mentor. It is like seeking out a husband or wife, it just happens.

That’s why typically you’ll hear of mentors being a college professor who you formed a special bond with over four years or a boss who gave you your first shot and took you under her arm. These are natural forming relationships that just happen.

I do think you can put yourself in situations, whether personal or professional, that can foster mentor relationships. It may come from common groups of interest or professional associations in which you are active.

By: At Home with Kim Vallee

At Home with Kim Vallee — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:28:48 +0000

I wish to add that my mentor gives me fresh ideas about my projects, helps me put things in perspective and make sure my decisions are aligned with my ultimate goal. Sometimes, when faced with a new situation or dilemma, I would give him a call just to make sure I analyzed the situation from all angles. It is reassuring to have an unbiased expert in my field who can validate my decision or offer another view.